By now, unless you live under a rock, you have heard all about Tiger Woods’ knee and his season-ending surgery. With all the hoopla and concern for Tiger’s future, I think too many are forgetting the other person in this dynamic duo. What will Steve Williams, Tiger’s trusty sidekick and caddie, do while Tiger is on the shelf for the next six to twelve months?

    Thinking this over, I’m sure that Steve has been well compensated over the past several years and is hardly struggling to make his mortgage. But what if he’s squandered his money? What if he gets bored? Perhaps he invested in Enron instead of Exxon. What if poor Steve needs to find a job to keep food on his table?

    With that in mind, I have a few job suggestions for the world’s number one looper.

    “Quality Control Tester for Kodak”. Steve can lead the way in inventing a shutter that clicks quietly. He can also run submergence tests to see how the latest cameras hold up when tossed into a lake.

    “Caddie for Michelle Wie”. How about grabbing the bag of Nike’s other big name? Michelle may even win a couple of majors and other events and we’ll discover that the true genius isn’t Tiger, but Steve! At the very least, we can hope that BJ Wie irritates Steve to the point where he finds himself next to a camera at the bottom of a pond.

      “Surgeon’s Assistant”. Since Tiger needs surgery, Steve needs to scrub in and assist the doctors just as he does Tiger on the golf course. He can hand the surgeon the proper scalpel and recommend procedures as he sees it. In true Steve fashion, ala removing his bib before Tiger finishes putting on the 18^th, he will remove his scrubs and mask just before the doctor sews Tiger up.

    “Dancing with the Stars”. How about it? If Jason Taylor can tip-toe across the floor, why can’t our beloved caddie? Besides, it will give Steve the chance to show off the soft side of his personality.

    “NASCAR Driver”. He’s already one of the top drivers in his home country of New Zealand. He could probably buy his own ride or take Michael Waltrip’s spot and emblaze it with the Nike swoosh. Just imagine the entertainment generated by the conversations between the Kiwi and a bunch of good old southern boys. Is everyone ready for subtitles?

    “PGA Tour Player”. Steve takes Tiger’s place on the Tour, and thanks to Hank Haney’s help, dominates the same way that his boss has. If you think the guys back down when Tiger is in the hunt, they should truly cower when the Big Kiwi steps up and crushes a drive 340 right down the middle.    “Sam’s Nanny”. Can’t you just picture Steve with an apron chasing little Sam around while Tiger and Elin relax and enjoy a rum drink? He can cook, clean, do laundry, wash the cars, and gas up the yacht.

    “Play Robin to Tiger’s Batman”. Steve can don the cape and join Tiger driving around Isleworth in a fancy new Buick while enforcing deed restrictions and code enforcement.

    “Sign Guy on the Corner”. If things truly go bad for Steve, he can always grab a spot at a busy intersection and put up a sign reading, “Will Loop for Food”. Of course, we’ll hardly recognize him from the unshaven face to the grungy jeans and the tattered t-shirt.

    “Salvage Diver”. After dropping Tiger’s nine-iron into the pond at the 2006 Ryder Cup in Ireland, Steve could hone his skills at underwater retrieval. He could even parlay the new-found skill into a used golf ball business. You’d see Steve sitting at a folding table near the 9^th tee at your local muni selling retrieved balls packaged in egg cartons.

    “Tiger’s Cart Driver”. To speed up Tiger’s return the PGA Tour will allow Tiger to use a cart to get around the course and begin play sooner rather than later. Steve should use his new-found NASCAR contacts to build a super golf cart, complete with tons of advertising for all of Tiger’s endorsement contracts. Steve could easily zip Tiger around the course between shots.

    Whatever Steve decides to do to pass the time and keep himself occupied, the one thing that he is sure to do is to be there for Tiger. Get well soon.