Beaching it in Boracay

Have you ever seen those television commercials for Corona beer?

These are the ads that feature a panoramic shot of gleaming white sand, sparkling, turquoise ocean, and an over-the-shoulder view of an anonymous-but-lucky beachgoer, who proceeds to fling a cell phone into the water, then slowly sip a beer. In a world filled with horrendous television ads, the Corona campaign stands out as being consistently great.

Right now, this is the closest I’ve come to living in a Corona commercial, (but I’m sipping a San Miguel) and it’s all I can do to keep myself from flinging my laptop into the warm blue sea.

That’s pretty much how things roll here on the island of Boracay (pronounced “bore-a-kEYE). The island is most famous for its eight-kilometer stretch of sand called White Beach. It’s gorgeous, and it’s where the action happens. Here’s how I can best describe it: Think South Beach Miami, slow the pace, replace the concrete between the ocean and the main drag with white sand, remove most of the commercial businesses and shove the whole thing to just 100 feet from the water. It’s fantastic.

People saunter along the sand all day and night. Along the way are the expected souvenir shops, bars, hotels and restaurants. Just off the sand is an outdoor mall and about a 15 minute walk, a market. Local vendors pushing knock-off sunglasses, shells, trinkets, t-shirts and watches won’t take long to approach you—in fact, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t draw more attention to myself if I walked the sands with a  mango stapled to my forehead—but it’s easy to either politely decline or barter your way to a good deal before moving along. Some vendors offer activities instead of swag. Would you like to rent a jet ski? Take an ATV up to the hills? Parasail? Snorkel? It’s all here. Also, beachside massages are available for less than $10 USD, and—just trust me here—they’re great.

Finally, I am sorry to report that my health is starting to deteriorate—I believe I have what you might call a Filipino Sinus Infection. Some of members of my group have insisted on taking me out for my birthday tonight (it’s actually still three days away) and I will find a way to answer the bell. How can I not?

(By the way, don’t you think it’s funny how much worse illnesses sound if you throw a country of origin in front of it? Like, say I had pink eye. Big deal, right? But what if I told you I had MALAYSIAN PINK EYE. Or what about a VIETNAMESE HANGNAIL. Or the PERSIAN SNIFFLES. Don’t those sound awful? And yes, there’s at least a 60 percent chance that I’ve spent too much time in the sun this week.)

That’s all from here. Tomorrow will be the final installment from the P-H-P (Today I’m calling it the P-H-P) before the long trip home. Until then, I hope today you find a way to make your own life more like a beer commercial.

Learn to Speak Tagalog

The Filipino language comes in several dialects, but Tagalog (pronounced “Tah-GAH-log”), is the national language and is simply called “Filipino” by the rest of the world. While English is also widely spoken—in fact, it’s the second national language—it’s always nice to charm your foursome with some simple phrases.

Thank you                              "Salamat"

Water Hazard                          Jabong (My favorite)

Sand Trap                                Borocay (This is slang, and an homage to the island)

How far?                                 Gaano Kalayo

Nice playing with you               Salamat Sa Laro

Ball                                          Bola

Good Shot                               Magandan Tira

Read more about the Scenes from the Philippines!

• Going Global Once Again!
• Part I  - Greetings from Manila
• Part II - Taking on Manila
• Part III - The island experience
• Part IV - Making the most of rainy Cebu
• Part V  - Beaching it in Boracay
• Part VI - The long road home